Self-Care isn't Selfish

When you hear the term ‘self-care’, what springs to mind? Perhaps it prompted the following thoughts... What a load of nonsense, expensive, trendy, self-indulgent! Or maybe... how lovely, thanks for the reminder, yes, I deserve this.

It could be argued that in today’s fast-paced world, self-care practices are more important than ever. In this article, we will explore what self-care is, its importance, the different types, potential barriers, and the role of hypnotherapy in enhancing self-care practices.

Understanding Self-Care

So, what is self-care? Firstly, let’s establish what it is. The World Health Organisation (WHO) defines self-care as:

“The ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a health-care provider”.

An accepted definition from an authority is all very well and good, but what does it mean for everyday people in a practical sense? A more accessible viewpoint could be, the practices we put in place on a regular basis to look after ourselves.

Why is self-care important?

With life going a million miles an hour, it’s easy to be so busy that we forget to take time for ourselves. Ideally, ‘me time’ should be on a regular basis, giving you time to breathe, relax, and enjoy something just for you, hopefully, with no disturbances.

Unfortunately, many view downtime as using a smart device, which depletes our dopamine levels, leaving us searching for the next dopamine hit.

Without downtime, we can quickly find ourselves experiencing a lack of joy, which can lead to burnout, stress, anxiety, depression, or a myriad of other ailments including physical illness. Sometimes these can literally force us to stop until we resolve the issue, acting as a warning.

Types of Self-Care

There are many types of self-care to choose from, which is good, as the choice can be made based on individual needs, time constraints, and interests.

• Physical Self-Care - One of the quickest ways to get out of the mind, is to get back into the body. This can be achieved via exercise, yoga, massage, or even doing housework. If these aren’t possible, a haircut, painting your nails, or a relaxing foot bath can also be beneficial.
• Emotional and Mental Self-Care – Sometimes, life events can be overwhelming or traumatic, in these situations it’s important to honour the associated emotions and find ways to express or process the emotions. This could take the form of journaling, speaking with a trusted friend, or a therapist.
• Social Self-Care – ‘No man is an island’, meaning we are social creatures. Even the most introverted people will need some kind of social interaction at times. Neuroscientists recognize that happiness chemicals come from having social interaction with others. The flip side of this is to set boundaries, ensuring you are not giving more than needed.
• Spiritual Self-Care – This could be attending a weekly religious service, or establishing a daily meditation or gratitude practice, whereby we take a moment to pause, reflect and get into the present moment. This could also be doing something you enjoy.

Ideally, a combination of the above would be a good aim, as balance is often key to maintaining health and well-being. That said, most will benefit from doing just one.

The Benefits of Self-Care

The benefits of self-care cannot be underestimated. We all know how good we feel when we do something for ourselves.

• Improved mental health
• Reduction in stress and anxiety levels
• Enhanced mood and emotional stability
• Physical health benefits
• Better sleep and increased energy levels
• Strengthened immune system
• Increased productivity and focus
• Improved concentration and cognitive function
• Better relationships
• Enhanced communication and stronger personal connections
• Overall life satisfaction
• Greater sense of fulfillment and happiness

Potential Blockers to Self-Care

There is much talk of self-care, with whole social media pages devoted to the topic, but even with this awareness, there is still some resistance to the concept of self-care. But, why?

Some common barriers could be:

• Time Constraints – Many of us are busy juggling work, family, social lives, etc., putting everyone else first, leaving self-care as the last priority. But, to be able to look after others, we need to look after ourselves first. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
• Financial Limitations – Some may believe they don’t have the money for something they don’t deem a priority. This may be true in some cases, but self-care doesn’t need to be expensive. There are many inexpensive or free things which fall under the category of self-care.
• Lack of Awareness – For some, self-care may not be on the radar. When we are really busy, it can be easy to forget or not allow self-care to come into our conscious awareness.
• Guilt or Perceived Selfishness – The concept of looking after yourself, can feel self-indulgent and selfish, especially when we have other obligations, i.e. looking after others.
• External Pressures and Expectations – Could lead to believing they are unable to commit to regular self-care. In this case, it could be worth looking at boundaries and examining what other people’s expectations are of us, as well as our own expectations.
• Psychological Blockers – Some may have limiting beliefs, whereby they consciously or unconsciously think they aren’t worthy of being treated well. Such beliefs can stem from childhood or be acquired later and can form vicious cycles. It’s worth remembering, if we treat ourselves well, it’s more likely that others will follow suit.
• Negative Self-Talk – We all have an inner dialogue, for some it’s positive, for others it’s negative or a combination. If you find yourself saying, ‘I don’t deserve that’, ‘I don’t have time for that’, etc., it may be worth observing and challenging those thoughts.
• Fear of Change – Humans are creatures of habit. When change is afoot, it can elicit feelings of fear, even if the change is positive. The uncertainty of change and forecasted results or lack of them can conjure negative emotions.
• Low Self-Esteem – If we have low self-esteem, we may think “I don’t deserve that”. The more we state limiting beliefs to ourselves, the more this thought process becomes ingrained, making the low self-esteem worse.
• Stress and Overwhelm – Some may think they don’t have time or capacity for self-care. The more we think we are overwhelmed, the truer this will become.

What is Solution-Focused Hypnotherapy?

Solution-focused hypnotherapy is backed by the latest neuroscience research and uses a combination of talking therapy and hypnosis, to help you identify and implement solutions to bring about positive change.

The hypnosis technique is centered on relaxation, because when we calm the body and mind we can begin to rewrite the programs running in our subconscious mind.

Solution-focused hypnotherapy principles

Solution-focused hypnotherapy is great for establishing self-care practices, as it identifies small achievable steps to create change. It empowers positive change by focusing on what you can do, creating a positive mind shift, which yields results. It enhances self-awareness and helps to overcome psychological barriers, by building resilience, challenging unhelpful beliefs, so the focus can be shifted to achieving the goals, i.e. creating a sustainable self-care routine.

Implementing Self-Care with Hypnotherapy

• Set small achievable goals in alignment with the overall goal, breaking it down, so the overall goal can be achieved without overwhelm.
• Identify the goal and the steps needed to reach the end goal. If your idea is to create a self-care plan, but don’t know where to start, hypnotherapy can point you in the right direction.
• Relaxation techniques are used to relax the body and mind, which releases happiness chemicals and gives you a sense of empowerment, so that the goal can be achieved.

If you like the idea of self-care but don’t know where to start, a solution-focused hypnotherapist could help to get you started. Perhaps there is a psychological blocker or a limiting belief as to why you can’t achieve this, hypnotherapy can help to challenge those thoughts and replace them with more empowering thoughts.

Conclusion

As outlined in this article, self-care is important to each and every one of us. Even if we believe we don’t have time, it’s worth considering what small action you could take towards the goal of self-care. When we take time for ourselves, even if it's five minutes, we feel so much better. The benefits are endless and most importantly, can lead to a happier and more fulfilled life. Solution-focused hypnotherapy can help to highlight blockers to be overcome, so you can lead the life you want. Regardless of where you are, the important takeaway is to start.

If you would like to know about Solution Focused Hypnotherapy, you can read more at https://www.afsfh.com/

A great resource on self-care is https://www.selfcarefederation.org/what-is-self-care

Another great blog on self-care is https://www.insightholistichealth.co.uk/7steps.html

Written by guest blogger Wend, Solution Focused Hypnotherapist, massage therapist, and founder of 'Wellness with Wend' based in Bristol, UK. For more information please visit https://www.wellnesswithwend.co.uk/